she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm at about main and main street
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize