im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
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