You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
