My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he was CRYING into my vagina
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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