I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
