I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize