You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
