Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
