I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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