It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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