guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just google imaged poop.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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