Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
