My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
