we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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