Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
