is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
