I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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