Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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