Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
