I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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