I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
