either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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