This is not my ceiling
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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