The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Dear god my vagina.
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