That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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