Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
