We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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