I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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