I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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