You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
