Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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