What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
