So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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