Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's never too late to be topless.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
