You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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