somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
