Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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