i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
