everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
