Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
