Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
