Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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