I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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