i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
