It's Friday. Sex?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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