Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
