So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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