Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
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