Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize