i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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