party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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