Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
