on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
