I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
