I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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