the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
