"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
