Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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